Monkeyblog

Now that Petra has arrived, it is time to move on. The Monkeyblog was all about the lead up to Petra's arrival. Now that she's here, it's not nice to call her the monkey (though we do). So, in honor of the terror she has introduced into our lives, we have a new blog for her story: Petra-fied (http://home.earthlink.net/~rlindstrom/blog/petrafied/Petra-fied.htm). Petra-fied will continue to document (ramble and rant about) life with Petra. Petra-fied is where you will find all the new pretty pictures, witty anecdotes, boasting, fears etc.

With this post, Monkeyblog will now go dormant (but it will stay online!). Please visit Petra-fied to follow the story.

We managed a fair amount of sleep last night (feeding Petra while lying down helps), and are feeling much better. Petra has also demonstrated that she can sleep through just about anything, so we aren't really too worried about the phone anymore.

If friends and relatives have been dying to call, go right ahead. Not too early, not too late would be great!

Thanks to everyone for bearing with us in this first crazy week. I hope the Monkeyblog has helped keep you informed, and taken the edge off a little while we were incommunicado.

That's what the pediatrician said when she had her first appointment today. And I'm SURE that he wasn't rolling his eye's when he said it. He must see a dozen parents a day that are sure that their kid is Einstein because he smiles when he burps (not that Petra does, she smiles when she hiccups). Just because ours really IS doesn't mean he shouldn't say it.

Petra's first day out was done very well. She fussed for only a few seconds when popped into her Maxi-Cosi carseat, but then was immediately quiet for the rest of the trip to Kaiser and back. Very interested in everyone and everything that she saw though. She was checked by the pediatrician, Alison's feeding technique was critiqued by the lactation consultant (the same woman who did the childcare classes we hated, but she is much more tolerable in this setting), and Alison and I both got flu shots to protect Petra from the impending global pandemic.

Maybe tomorrow we'll take her out on a little walk to show her off. I've been dying to try out the Quinny Zapp stroller!

I stuck a few good (?) pictures up on my Yahoo! photos account. These are big enough that you can order prints (or, if you have a home photo printer, just ask and I can send you original files).

I plan on putting together an online photo gallery so you can print or order prints, but again, give me time.

The photos link is http://photos.yahoo.com/rwl2

Ahh, thank goodness she takes after her mother in the hair department! Poor thing though, with those two whorls, she'll be good for nothing but twin ponytails or a faux-hawk. Hmmm, which to go with first?

It is a whole new world though. It's amazing watching just how much she changes day-to-day (or hour to hour even). That first day you could see her learn to open her eyes, look at daddy (mommy too), burp, hiccup (she loves hiccuping. Each one is new and exciting). I'm always amazed at how alert she is, watching what is going on around her, looking at daddy (and following when he points to mommy coming into the room). She's one smart cookie.

She was also cranky beyond belief last night. There was no way I could console her. She thrashed about screaming, bright red (giving us her patented "Laaaaaaaa" cry, which means we are in real trouble- a "waaah" is just a warning). Shushing, hugging, bouncing, rocking, rubbing, patting- nothing helped. She'd work her self up so much she would arch like a bow, going rigid with her head locked to one side. Scary! Only mommy's breast could quiet her, but she wouldn't even eat for more than a couple of minutes.

I'm hoping (oh please, oh please) that this is just the discomfort of having her digestive system start coming on line. The steady "poot-poot-poot" of gas certainly suggests that is a contributing factor. She should settle soon? Luckily, we have her first pediatric appointment today, so we can be fearful parents and ask questions that everyone who already has kids already knows.

She did quiet this morning though, even sleeping in daddy's arms for an hour and a half while mommy rested. Of course, half way through there was a knock on the door and ringing of the doorbell- a gift arriving from Alison's office. Luckily, she slept right through it. Alison was thrilled to see the muffins and cookies when she woke up hungry.

[Update: My genetics genius brother points out that whorl directions are strongly linked to handedness (Genetics, 2003), and puts his money on her being a lefty or ambidextrous]

I'll try to get a new picture up every day, if I can. I'll also put together an online photo album where people can order prints (but give me time!).

Sorry about the last two posts being a bit testy. We've been running on VERY little sleep. We know how much everyone wants to know more about Petra- all the vital stats, pictures, digitized burp noises etc. Now that we are home, it should be easier to meet the demand. But don't expect too much, here is a capsule review of Petra's first 3 days of life:

10/18, 3:09am: Born (nearly dropped by Doctor because Alison shot her out so quickly)
10/18, 3:21am: Daddy takes picture while still in the bun warmer (to be posted soon)
10/18, 4:07am: First breast feeding (or game attempt at such, both mom and baby are exhausted)
10/18, 6am: Move to hospital room for recovery
10/18, 10:30am: first real feeding (after a blessedly peaceful 4 hour sleep- an exhausted baby is a good baby)
10/18, 1:30pm: Feeding (after another long nap), first pee
10/18, 5:15pm: Feeding
10/18, 8pm: Feeding, first poop (meconium)
10/18, 10:45pm: feeding, pee
10/18, 11:45pm: feeding, gas, crying, lots of daddy carrying her around
(This was the day that they said let her sleep, she won't wake up much)

10/19, 1:45am: feeding, gas, crying, pee, lots of daddy staggering around doing everything possible to keep her quiet so mommy can sleep
10/19, 6:45am: feeding
10/19, 9:00am: feeding
10/19, 11:50am: feeding
10/19, 3:20pm: feeding, pee
10/19, 6pm: Going home from the hospital
10/19, 7:00pm: feeding, cranky
10/19, 9:00pm: marathon feeding
10/19, 11:00pm: marathon pooping (first real baby poo)
(cranky day, what with learning how to digest and everything)

10/20, 12:00am: feeding
10/20, 2:20am: feeding (and a long one), then sleeping on daddy's lap the rest of the night- good baby!
10/20, 6:30am: handoff to mommy so daddy can crash a couple of hours. feeding
10/20, 8:55am: feeding
10/20, 9:45am: daddy wakes up feeling (comparatively speaking) like a million bucks. Finds mommy and Petra snoozing on the couch post feed.

And so, welcome to our world- feed, poop, pee, repeat.

The weird thing is, I wouldn't give it up for the world!

Geez, sorry about the technical difficulties of maintaining a blog from a recovery room. Here are a few pictures take the edge off!

We are going home!

Please don't flood us with phone calls, let us get settled, then everyone will get a chance to hear Petra crying in the background.

Pictures should go up tonight.

--
Sent from my Treo

(drumroll please)

Petra Ingrid

It's official, the monkey has a name!

Response so far has ranged from ecstatic to ‘what kind of name is that?’

We consulted the monkey, and the other options got frowns, but Petra got wide open eyes and raised eyebrows (delicate blond eyebrows). Obviously a winner.

--
Sent from my Treo

After 17 hours of induced labor, Alison gave birth to our 9lb 6.9oz beauty at 3:09am

Mother and Daughter are doing fine

Name still TBD

I'm a Daddy!

--
Sent from my Treo

No news to report. Went out on a lovely day. Visited Babystyle in Santa Monica- lots of really neat stuff, and not nearly as ridiculously overpriced as I though (well, if you can exclude the bugaboos and Stokke strollers). Especially excited about the monkey chair! Managed to leave without spending a dime though, saved by Tim and Anissa calling us to go to Sierra Bonita Cafe for brunch. We like to consider ourselves chow afficionados, and we feel like we discovered Sierra Bonita about a year ago. All our friends are now regulars, and we want them to succeed!

More walking around, but no love for us. The monkey is already a recalcitrant teen!

Last day at work for awhile. As expected, Alison insisted on going to work today. She is such a trooper. It doesn't hurt that she is as healthy as you can be without being divine (though she is a bit of that too!). I, being a nervous wreck, insisted on driving her to work (and a good excuse to stop at Peet's too!). She at least promised she might consider leaving a little bit early (like, maybe 4:30 or something). Sigh, what a gal!

Still waiting. In a bid to move things along, we went to the Farmer's Market yesterday to have a little walk. Oh, OK, really we went to have nachos at Loteria Grill, and a donut at Bob's, but we really did walk around a bit too. Such fashion mistakes to giggle at!

I'm lobbying for Alison to stay home from work tomorrow. More for my own piece of mind than for her. All week long, every time the phone rings I've jumped. I've already cleared my desk (well, OK, finished off projects, my desk is really a mess), warned everyone I might disappear at any moment, and chewed my finger nails. What else can I do? I just want to be home with Alison waiting for the blessed event to finally happen!

Still no monkey. We had an OB appointment this morning and everything seems to be in order- monkey's head is down, but no sign that she's ready to go anywhere. They ran a "non-stress test" with Alison on a fetal heart monitor to see how the monkey is doing (fine- jogging in place, gymnastics etc.). Nothing much to do except wait!

Thanks to Alison's coworkers for their shower gifts (I have to say, though, that the ice cream cake was a bad choice in my (lactose intolerant) view- none for me!). Some nice books, a Got Milk? t-shirt/bottle/pacifier set, and, of course, a purple monkey rattle. Our little monkey is themed for life. Poor thing!

After much cajoling, I managed to snap a picture of Alison before work this morning. Yes, I said work this morning. On the bus and everything. She could be taking time off (no good- it means less time once the monkey arrives), she could be driving (but the bus isn't that bad, and it saves me 3 hours a day on public transit if I drive). Nothing keeps Alison down, even 9 months of monkey on her back (well, in her belly).

Isn't she cute in her maternity dress? She was playing dress up for a little shower at her work today. Nice of them, if a little tardy. She could be on leave already. The best thing about going to work though is that if she does go into labor, she is right across the street from the UCLA hospital. Our other backup is to be shopping at Beverly Center when it hits, so we end up at Cedars Sinai!

What do you do after you've done all the shopping, the scrubbing, the shopping, the building, the shopping, the washing and the shopping? You wait. You know the monkey has to arrive sometime, anytime, but you can't think of anything else to do to get ready for her arrival. You catch up on a little overdue gardening, you read the Sunday NY Times from front to back, you play a little Katamari Damacy. But none of these really helps you forget that you are about to become a daddy, oops, better make that Daddy.

I guess this waiting period is meant to let you start to think about all the things you will probably do wrong in the next 18 years or so. How, exactly, do you change a diaper? When do you start toilet training? Public or private school? Chicken or fish? Basically, you start to wallow in uncertainty. This isn't to say there wasn't a fair amount of uncertainty involved before, but now I've actually got time to wallow in it!

I keep telling mylself (and Alison) that people do this all the time, and with a lot less preparation, education, income, infrastructure, health care than we have. Not that this really helps. I think the only thing that does help now is inevitability- we're having a monkey, and nothing is going to stop that. She'll be traumatized in myriad ways that we can't even begin to imagine, and not even flinch at things that scare us to pieces now. All the things that we liked/hated about our own upbringings (not, dear parents, that there was much in the latter category!) will be completely different than those that she loves/hates about her own. We'll just try to do our best, and be surprised at every turn.

We have a tour of labor & Delivery, so I figured I'd do a test post so we can post when the blessed event comes!
--
Sent from my Treo

Perfectly timed to coincide with the Monkey's arrival, the LADWP is replacing (20 years behind schedule) the water mains in front of our house (and all down the street beside it, and around the corner....). For the next several months (minimum!) we will have no street- only a large open trench. Jackhammers, trucks and backhoes starting at 6am every day (except Sunday), 24-hour pumps and generators, and more dirt, dust and gravel than you can imagine.

The construction will, I'm sure, help the monkey sleep well all day! They say things are usually too quiet for babies, who are used to the roaring noises of mom's gastrointestinal tract. But the constant "beep-beep-beep" of backing vehicles may be a little distracting. And her poor little monkey lungs will be coated in mud! Our house is 75 years old, so it is hardly air tight. With no A/C, leaving the windows closed all the time is also not really an option.

I guess we'll just have to invest in a little hard hat and orange vest for her. Good thing we got the off road stroller, as our only access to the world will be through the construction zone.

Ahhh, life in the big city. Anyone in Paris want a house swap for a few months?

Labor and delivery class was last night at Kaiser, and within minutes of arriving I felt bad about dragging Alison there. As before, the "health educator" started with asking if there were any questions (and answering each with "we'll get to that"- duh, nothing had been covered yet!). The only good part was a (badly edited) handout on exactly what goes on when in labor (basically- ouch!). We took off before the delivery videos started (do we really want to see this?). Alison will be cancelling next week's class today, because with all the misinformation this person presents, it is better for us not to attend.

Then, back to Kaiser this morning for our weekly checkup. Basically, the monkey can come whenever she damn well feels like it. Of course, the Doctor is leaving town for a week or so tomorrow, so cross your legs! Everything seems to be on target, the baby is growing, Alison isn't (no space for food anywhere anymore). The OB recommended lots of walking and sex to stimulate contractions. Since Alison is ready for this whole pregnancy thing to be over, I gues we'll have to try something!

But not the one you were probably expecting.

My lovely coworkers threw a surprise baby shower for me this afternoon. It really was a complete surprise. Yesterday was probably the worst day I've ever had at work, and today wasn't looking much better. I'm trying like crazy to get hold of someone on the phone who is avoiding my calls, and suddenly the Dean wants to talk to me for a minute. Well, the Dean was there, but so was everyone else- students, clerkship directors, department chairs, all and sundry! And you wouldn't believe all the pink! Pink princess tablecloth even! Well, it was quite the surprise!

Lots of gifts, lots of cards, lots of pink! Cute pink though- a nice fuzzy footie sleeper, little pink overalls, butterfly hair clips etc. And also a pack 'n play, so we can cage the monkey for the first few years (at least until she's old enough to lock in the closet). And what a cake! It's a custom job too, they had to request a change at the last minute though- near King/Drew the default baby on top is black. Kind of Des to have them change that for me, I have enough things to worry about! Thanks everyone!

Now, back to my frantic day!

I must say, being a daddy-to-be has certainly made me a manly man (or at least play one at home). If you ignore all the house cleaning (more shiny baseboards!) and curtain hanging (blackout curtains so the monkey never has to know the pain of natural light), I've been quite the handy man- building a library in the garage, patching and painting the nursery (you can't tell there was ever a big hole in the wall now), wiring in new light fixtures etc. More work has gone into the house this summer than in the last 3 years (well, assuming you don't count the kitchen remodel, but I didn't do the construction on that one)! I only hope the manliness translates appropriately to Dadliness when the monkey arrives.

Which, by the way, is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER! What with only 5% of babies arriving on their due date (which we have been told 1,236,435 times), we could be due pretty much anytime over the next 2 weeks or so. We'll be packing our bags tonight so that when we need to head to Kaiser we don't end up with a paper sack full of underwear, hairspray, and silver polish instead of the things we'll actually need.

Tomorrow I'm dragging Alison to "Labor and Delivery" class, apparently taught by the same stellar educator as the completely useless "newborn care" class two weeks ago (we bailed on post-partum care last week). Saturday we tour the labor and delivery facilities as well. Then we should be as ready as we are likely to ever be. After that, it's "Hail Mary!" and push, and ta-daa, we'll be parents!

Alison is finally starting to show some pregnancy related symptoms (other than that monkey-filled belly). The circulation in her feet is suffering, and they are swelling pretty badly. I blame poor ergonomics in her office more than I blame the monkey. I've been trying to be a good husband by taking her walking and giving her foot rubs every night (I'm kind of jealous of myself!).

Foot lotion with lavender and witch hazel works pretty well, and we've discovered that the cats REALLY don't like the smell. Such funny faces they make when they smell it. Well, OK, Piper and Chester hate it, but I think Vanna has completely lost her sense of smell. She had no reaction at all to it when she sniffed my fingers, and even threatend to stick her head in the jar.

The good news is that the swelling seems to be the worst of the pregnancy related aches and pains that she's had. She's been AMAZINGLY lucky not to have morning sickness or anything else. Thank goodness!

Bassinets are the current topic of conversation. Daddytypes and others are bemoaning the lack of stylin' bassinets (all seem to be cheesy plastic covered in dust ruffles. Are babies that dusty?). I have to agree. Personally, I think I have the problem solved: Laundry basket, 2 milk crates, some zip screws, and a handful of towels, and voila! One perfectly good bassinet that is no uglier than anything from Target!

Actually Holly (Alison's dad's wife's daughter) is sending down a bassinet on Sunday. We're driving up to Santa Barbara to meet Alison's dad and pick it up. If that fails (Alison is becoming a BIT uncomfortable at this point), we can always fall back on the laundry basket!

I now have independent confirmation that I'm the one that is pregnant! I suspected all this cleaning was a result of hormonal spinoff, and I guess I was right. SimpleDad writes that his wife got the white tornado as well, creating the “The Cleanest Triangle in the World” from nursery to bedroom to bathroom (a different golden triangle?).

With only a couple of weeks to go, I probably won't manage to re-stucco and paint the house (unfortunately), but we should be pretty shiny inside by the time the monkey arrives.

This weekend was spent primarily working on the "white tornado"- getting everything clean enough for the baby. Vanna has occupied the nursery for four years, and it is amazing how much dirt one tiny cat can generate! I've been scrubbing windows, window sills, walls, baseboards, door frames etc., and it is kind of scary just how dirty a sponge can get!

I have friends that cringe at the thought of the monkey being put into that room, but when it comes down to it, there probably isn't a cleaner one! Just how clean does a baby's room need to be anyway? Just think of the good strong immune system she will develop fighting off cat dander! She'll have lungs of steel.

While I had my white tornado on, I scrubbed the bathroom cabinets (which I think we managed to miss when we moved into the house- Yuck!), sorted through the medicine/soap/shampoo/miscellaneous cabinet, washed baby blankets, and installed a baseboard in the bedroom (which has been in the garage for 4 years now waiting for me to get around to it). Whew! Now I just have to do our bedroom, the livingroom, dining room, and breakfast nook, and I can take another nap.

Which was the other main activity of the weekend (napping that is). We've taken to heart that we won't be getting enough sleep for the next year or eighteen, so we're napping every chance we get. I'm not much of a napper, but boy did it feel good this weekend! I think I'm having sympathy exhaustion- or is that just all the cleaning?

A little earlier than expected, and it seems the lanugo wasn't shed. Also it's a male (neutered!). How could we have been so misled?

Obviously, the cats are taking to the nursery just fine. Maybe TOO fine. Keeping them from sleeping on the babies face might be difficult! I still haven't quite decided what to do about Vanna. I don't think she'll handle an eviction quietly (she is hardly ever quiet as it is). I also fear that she will refuse to use the catbox Piper and Chester use, which could be messy. Well, they always say that having a baby is all about poop, so I guess we should expect it.

With so little time to go, I figured I better learn how to install the car seat. The Maxi-Cosi is great! It pops into the car in just a second, and is rock solid once it is in place. There must be something about a European car seat being made for a European car, you think?

We had out "newborn care" class at Kaiser last night, and I don't think we will be going back for any more. I had a fellowship in medical education (curriculum development and research) at UCLA, and I can tell you that the "health educator" for the class certainly didn't. She starts the class with "Any questions?" Duh! If we didn't have questions, we wouldn't be here! We have no clue, that's why we came! It didn't improve much from there. Despite the written "no product endorsement" policy we had clear shills for Dreft and Pampers. We were told things that contradicted information in the "bible" that Kaiser distributes for pregnant women. And we were handed dolls and told to "practice diapering" and holding them, but with no instruction or followup (I could have diapered the wrong end and it would have been fine with the instructor).

I think the classes are really just a way to handle those people that would be endlessly calling with questions that are already answered in written materials. If you've already read the "bible" you are better prepared than the class will make you.

So, that means we get an extra hour of sleep each Tuesday! Hurray!

Now that we have a dresser, and the "nursery" is taking shape, we could finally start washing those piles of baby clothes! Dozens of socks, onesies, sleepers, blankets etc. to be done. The good thing is, baby clothes are small, so you can get a LOT into your fancy front loading high-capacity washer. One load took care of all the clothes. Another most of the spit rags and blankets. The new dresser is already packed!

The Roll-top desk is going to work out nicely as well. The drawers are already holding 708 wipes and 248 diapers (Costco jumbo packs), and it's only about 1/2 full! With the changing pad on top it will work out great, and I can roll down the top to keep it cat free.

Yikes, it's almost like it is really going to happen!

Kaiser offers a whole series of classes for expectant parents. They are meant to be taken spread out over the 9 months before the birth. Well, guess which parents-to-be start Tuesday? Every Tuesday evening, and a couple of Saturdays between now and D-day (due day) we'll be learning important things about newborn care (including "Back to Sleep" I'm sure), Post-partum care, Labor & Delivery, Breastfeeding etc. I'm suddenly thinking I should have shadowed one of our OBGYN rotations!

Normally, we are eager for education, but I've talked to a couple of people who've taken these types of clsses who were sorely disappointed (not to mention bored out of their skulls). There is no accommodation for people who've already read the manual (yes, there is a manual! Kaiser provides "You and Your Baby"- which I've read at least!). Things (I have heard) are taught to the lowest common denominator (something around a 6th grade education). This can be mind numbing, but also highly entertaining when you hear some of the questions people without a clue ask.

But then again, I've already admitted to being a daddy-without-a-clue myself. I'll probably be surprised by how much I learn. As long as it isn't fear-mongering like "What to expect when you are expecting"!

Among the boxes of stuff Alison's mom sent us were a couple of bibs inscribed with "I Love Mommy" and the like. Strangely, there were no "I Love Daddy" bibs, onesies or quilts in the lot. Is she trying to tell me something? There does seem to be much more mommy-centric baby gear than there is for dads (lamented on other daddy blogs like DaddyTypes). I must confess a bit of jealousy.

This isn't to say that there isn't daddy-centric apparel available. I found an absolutely adorable pink cashmere hoodie by Amber Hagen with a "Daddy" heart tattoo on the arm at HD Buttercup. I was all over it, though the $150 price tag was just a little too rich for something the monkey will only wear once or twice!

So, I'm on the prowl for daddygear! If you see something, let me know.

And don't worry, I'll keep my eye out for mommygear as well. Alison won't be left out!

We are getting pretty darn close now, and the closer we get, the more confusing things seem to get. Spent much time yesterday trying to figure out disability/vacation/sick time/FMLA so we can spend as much time bonding with the monkey as we can, and there seems to be differing information in every source we check! Hopefully we'll get it figured out, but I've NEVER had a good experience working with an HR department, so I have little hope for a smooth ride.

We had another visit to Kaiser today, and we are moving into weekly appointments. A little ultrasound shows that the monkey is gorgeous of course, and getting BIG (OK, at least it sounds big to me- over 6 pounds!). It also showed that she is also a defiant teen, refusing to pose for a glamour shot.

We learned a slightly scary lesson that Alison can't be lying on her back anymore- sudden sweats, pain and dizziness during the ultrasound brought back scary memories! Everything went back to normal as soon as she sat up, and she was fine within a minute, but let's not do that again! And a shot of Peet's afterwards didn't hurt!

And when I say pithy, I am using it as a verb, to wit: To sever or destroy the spinal cord of, usually by inserting a needle into the vertebral canal.

As an expectant daddy, there are phrases now that seem to have a similar effect on my central nervous system. Use those magic words, and my eyes glaze and it feels as though my brain has just died a messy death. Deer in the headlights would be an apt description, if somewhat less dramatic (well, not less dramatic for the deer).

What words can do this to a person? Let's try a few!


"Cloth or disposable diapers?" AAAhhh! Brain overload imminent, total shutdown underway! Ask this of someone with a 6 month old, and you will likely get a lengthy tirade about how cloth (or disposable) diapers are miracle cures for acne, and that using disposable (or cloth) will doom your child to the short bus.

We try to be intelligent rational beings about this. We do the research: Energy expenditures, cost analysis, landfill/decomposition rates, wastewater bacteria levels etc. Each, however gives a (marginally?) better result for cloth (or disposable) diapers! Factor in clotheslines and cloth get better, factor in delivery service, and disposables win, factor in time/effort, disposables win, factor in landfill and cloth wins. OK, rational apparently isn't going to help here, so you turn to the irrational- pseudo-science fear mongering, product marketing hype, double-coupons at Ralphs etc. etc. etc. I tell you, pithing starts to sound pretty darn attractive!! One thing I can guarantee your- the baby will poop, and it will be disposed of. Just don't ask me for specifics!

Let's try another one, shall we?

"What will you name her?" Pulse rate rising, vision blurring, ringing in ears.... As I posted earlier, we tried the rational thing, we've swung through the suburbs of irrationality ("No, my mother's great-aunt's sister had that name, so it's an old persons name"), and now we are starting to turn to the lyrical (first/middle name pairs that have a ring to them- not too helpful for tonedeaf daddy!). I'm sure she will have a name (though monkey is sounding pretty good right now!), as it's required to get a Social Security number, but we have 30 days after the birth before we have to fill out those forms, right?

Any others?

"Breast feeding"
"Co-sleeping"
"Regression to the mean"

And Many Many More!

These are the things that keep me awake at night, and make me so unproductive at work these last weeks of the countdown. The good news is, chimps and neanderthals raise children (though, neanderthals may be a bad example, what with extinction and all), so a couple of bright (and humble too!) adults with Master's degrees ought to do just fine. Right? Right? Please?

Or, more precisely, where does the money go on the weekend? Who knew it would be so expensive not even HAVING a monkey yet! Sconces for the nursery, the new dresser, crib linens and rechargeable batteries, cute monkey rattle and socks, vaseline and alcohol (and I don't mean cocktails!). The scary thing is, I think we are being pretty reasonable on acquiring material goods (certainly better than that woman with 7 strollers)!

Time wise, the weekend went pretty quickly too. Finished emptying the nursery, scrubbed the floor twice (amazing how much dirt one little cat can leave!), scrubbed the desk, installed the sconces, assembled a musical mobile (and thus the rechargeable batteries- I think we might be keeping Energizer in business), brought in a bookcase (low one) and filled it with children's books (lots of loot from BookExpo in NY this summer). Even replaced a window that fell out.

I figure I must be getting some hormonal runoff from Alison (does the EPA know about this?). I've been really manic for the last month doing monkey related things (building, cleaning, moving). I can't seem to sit still. I figure these are the same things that keep pregnant women alive while carrying their babies. I just hope the "don't eat your young" hormones rub off as well!

Ikea furniture is always best assembled after 11pm!

We just came back from a Mayan art exhibition/reception with desserts at LACMA called "Lords of Creation: The Origins of Sacred Maya Kingship." A very nice exhibit, worth the visit. Some amazing sculpture, jade, and ceramics.

Now, back to the crib. As mentioned on the monkey's website, Tim and Anissa gave us the Ikea Diktad crib. We picked the crib, reflecting my inherent cheapness. Ikea is great for things that don't need to last a lifetime. The crib is sturdy, not out of place in our house, and converts to a toddler bed.

As always, I decided to start assembling it late after a busy day (mainly scrubbing the monkey's room and shopping for the dresser). The assembly wasn't difficult, but I was seeing crosseyed by the end. And since when does an Ikea product involve so many nails!?

The crib is up though, and I think it will suit the monkey just fine. I'm tempted to practice my router skills (nonexistant) on it and put the monkey's name at the end. If we can ever decide on one!

Now that we have piles of clothing for the monkey (see her website for a list of loot), we needed to find something to store it all in.

Most of the furniture in our house is antique- not Stickley or anything, but solid and functional. We decided a dresser was something that she could use for years, so off we went to Wertz Brothers to find her something. Then the Goldilocks effect set in- it couldn't be too big (or she couldn't use it when small, helping mom us put away clothes), or too small (or she couldn't use it into her teens), not too elaborate, not too plain, not too expensive.

But, as always at Wertz, we found just what we were looking for. Actually, it is almost identical to the one daddy has, but a bit smaller, with nice light drawers that open easily. The only blemish is the hardware on the top drawer has been replaced. However, I've seen the same bakelite handles at Liz's Antique Hardware, so we should be able to replace them.

Now, on to the crib!

Between Alison being a librarian, and me being a packrat, we have WAY too much stuff. Put this into a small 2 bedroom house, add 3 cats (one of which is older than God and has her OWN room), sprinkle in a baby on the way and you get a souffle popping out of the pan (mmmm, souffle...).

So, to relieve some of the building pressure, I decided to empty the garage (of WAY too much stuff), and build a new room to house the library. As the monkey is the driver, I've taken to calling it the monkey house.

The garage was small to start with, only 16x16 ft or so, and we couldn't fit the car in anyway, so an 8x12ft room for books is a pretty good use of space, if I do say so myself (and I do).

My friend Tim was kind enough to help with hauling and hanging drywall (I could never have handled all the big stuff myself). We managed to haul all the studs, plywood, drywall, insulation etc. in multiple trips in and on the Passat. I love a car that can carry 25 8' 2x4 studs INSIDE!

A couple of weeks of nights and weekends (of course, I put this off until the hottest weeks of summer!), and the room is pretty much finished. Another week of hauling boxes and boxes and boxes of books, and ta-daaaa- we have an extra room! Still need to add insulation in the ceiling, a few patches of drywall at the top, and hang the door though.

Now, a week or so to clean, patch, paint, and decorate the "Nursery" (Yikes!) and we'll be all set for the monkey! She better not be early!

As alluded to on the monkey's home page, we are being somewhat less than successful in choosing a name. Being over-educated, hyper-rational, and VERY geeky, we established a thoroughly scientific method for choosing a monkeyname. The methodology involved:

Downloading and reading the Social Security Administrations top 1000 girls names registered in 2003 and 2004.

Deleting all those that were used by strippers, prostitutes, and porn actresses
Deleting all those that reflected brand names (Lexus, Mercedes, Portia)
Eliminating all the mispelled variants (Just how many ways can you spell Mikayla, Shayanne etc?!)
Eliminating names that were essentially made up in the last decade or so (Madison and Uneek anyone?)
Eliminating all the names that are just ridiculously popular now (Gabriella, Isabella, Olivia, Emily etc.)
Eliminating names that are already in the family (too much history, and too many chances for ticking off the one who's name we didn't use. For the same reason we caution our relatives not to suggest names!).


We then ran the remaining 60 or so names through the AMAZING NameVoyager from the Baby Name Wizard to see how their popularity has grown and fallen over the last century. We wanted to avoid names that were only popular in the time of our grandparents & great-grandparents, and also those that are skyrocketing in popularity (we don't want our monkey to have the same name as seven other girls in all her classes).

This got us down to about 40 or so names.

We sought the expert opinion of several of our friends. Each, of course, came back with about 5 names that they absolutely loved! Yet, of course, each of these top-5 lists were completely different.

Alison and I then attempted a modified Delphi technique where we each independently picked our top 10-15 names from our list, and gee whiz if there was virtually no overlap! There were some similarities (I'd pick Claire, she'd pick Clara etc.), but nothing striking.

Our latest attempt is to find a matched pair for first and middle names- something that has a ring, but isn't too alliterative. Interestingly, we ended up with a number of pairs that included names that weren't on ANY of our previous lists!

It's beginning to look like she will be the monkey well into her teens!

As I mentioned on the monkey's web page, a baby is just a really good excuse to shop. This weekend we did a bit of the ol' shopping, both high and low end.

At the low end, we went to A Plus Kids Store on Fairfax Ave. at Colgate. This is a small store packed with nice overstock type children's clothes. Lots of women of a certain age bickering in Russian adds to the black market feel. Clothes were nice, and prices reasonable (if not spectacular).

For spectacular prices (and not in a good way), you need to go a few blocks up to For Kids Only (Fairfax at Waring). Very nice European designer kid's clothes, at very nice European designer prices (such a cute little princess outfit for only $550). Thankfully they had a large selection at 50% off, which means only $225 for that little outfit! No, I think the monkey will be wearing banana leaves before she wears clothes from this place.

Also at the high end was La Bella Cosa at the Helms Bakery (Venice blvd.). Lots of very chic and pretty clothes and accessories (furniture, linens, blankets, decor) for those with more money than I. Of course, I see lovely things from Under the Nile, which are *almost* kind of affordable (if you call $59 for a blankie "affordable"). I'll be visiting this shop when the sales start!

Whew, it's not easy shopping for a baby that doesn't even exist yet!

Ahh, such a beautiful little monkey she is. I think she has her father's hairline (for the moment at least). That cute little button of a nose couldn't possibly grow into the Lindstrom schnozz could it? For her sake, I hope not!

As part of my exploration of all things trendy for daddies, I've just created the Monkeyblog to document the joys and expenses of having a baby on the way. Monkeyblog is a learning experience for me, and hopefully an enjoyable one for you.

Who is the Monkey? Alison and I are expecting our daughter (the monkey) to arrive in late October. We are new parents, excited, scared, and clueless! She's called the monkey because we, in our fits of hyperrationalism, have developed a complex naming protocol that seems to be asymptotic- we don't seem to be approaching a single name, despite the hundreds we have evaluated. So for now, our little girl-to-be is the monkey.